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Success & the "I Don't Feel Like It" Trap

Feb 15 / Karen Amlin





"Avoid the 'I don't feel like it' trap" is one of the most game-changing pieces of advice I offer my clients and students daily.

The desire to create the changes we want in our lives requires a firm decision to do so.  With the exception of life-altering events, out of our control, that change our lives in an instant, our current reality is most often a direct reflection of the string of decisions we make each day.


After you have taken time to identify, commit, and fall in love with the idea of WHO you want to be, and WHAT you want to accomplish, you then begin to outline a plan, and list the detailed action steps necessary to make it happen. And yes, some of those tasks and action steps will be enjoyable and some will not. It will help you a lot if you realize that It should make very little difference to you whether you feel like doing these tasks or not; what should matter most to you is how much you really want to achieve your desired outcome. 

If you know what you want, and you have fallen in love with your vision, you must accept that the completion of each step you outlined is just part of the process necessary to get you where you want to be. 

Ask anyone who has ever graduated from school, or built a home, started a business, or had a child...there were many steps on those journeys that were not fun or enjoyable; they were just necessary steps that had to happen to bring their vision to life.

Honestly, why does it matter whether you “feel like doing things” or not? Where did you get the idea in your mind that you had to like every step on your journey?  Why not concentrate on how you will feel after you've completed a necessary task?  Why not focus on the feelings you will have when you arrive at your destination? As a coach, I am not concerned with whether you feel like doing something or not, what I AM most concerned about though, is your happiness and your sense of purpose.  What matters most to me is supporting you in not letting yourself down.  I want you to become the person you say you want to be.  I want you to experience how it feels to be someone who does what they say they are going to do. I want your confidence to skyrocket from the high you get when you turn a dream into reality. 

If you really think about it, you have been doing things your whole life that you do not necessarily feel like doing, but you do them because you know they must be done. I am sure you don't feel like going to the dentist, but you go because you care about your health.  You don't feel like paying your bills every month, but you do, because you like having lights and running water in your home. I am quite sure if you told your employer, you didn't feel like doing the tasks you were asked to do, he or she would not tell you that it was ok...and to only do what you feel like doing that day. I'm guessing they may in fact, flip this whole idea around, and ask you how much you FEEL like getting a paycheck that week.

If you are honest with yourself, there is probably an endless list of things each day you do that you don’t feel like doing, and yet you get them done anyway. You do them because they need to get done. Period. So, if this is true, why is it that when it comes to your own happiness, you allow the “I don’t feel like it” thought to derail your plans?  

If your child did not feel like eating dinner, going to bed early, or attending school, there is no way you would just go along with that and support their "I don't feel like it" thoughts.  Of course you wouldn't.  You would remind them how much you care about them, and you would ensure that they did what they had to do for their overall wellbeing. When you start applying the same caring process to your personal dreams and aspirations, you will learn the secret to achieving your desires.  

I read a quote once that said "Successful people do what unsuccessful people won't" I do not remember who said it, but it is so true. Successful people are not more capable or talented than you.  They are not immune to the "I don't feel like it" thoughts; the only difference is, they do not fall for the trap those words set in place.  They do not stop; they stay focused on what they want and they keep moving.  Remember, the minute you take your eyes off your overall vision and surrender to the "I don't feel like it" thoughts, you falter, you take a step backward and BANG, you fall into a bear-like trap that keeps you stuck in place.

Commit to your dreams.  Commit to the process and do what you know you need to do to become who you want to be.